You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
