We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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