about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize