; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
