Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
