I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
