i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have post one night stand depression
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