the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Randomize
