i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize