I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
