Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
