I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
