My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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