drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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