This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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