Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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