I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
