Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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