There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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