oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
