She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
