McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
