ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Swine flu. Run for my life!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
God I need to hump something, right now.
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