so that wasnt chicken after all
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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