The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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