You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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