just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
