It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She's the barista slut.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
