Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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