i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
