I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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