So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
