Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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