Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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