Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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