You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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