so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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