singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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