If i come over, it means nothing
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
