Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize