if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
