so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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