i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
