You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
