Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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