Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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