I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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