The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
