i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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