If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
