So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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