i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't deserve a penis
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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