Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
