Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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