Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
