Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
