Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
