dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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