Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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