The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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