do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
