He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We are two peas in an std pod
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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