she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
