Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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